Stop Fighting! Begin Arguing

           Having just started Reading Thank You for Arguing, Jay Heinrichs proposes a very interesting concept of arguing. At first, the discussion on rhetoric, while at the same time using rhetoric to convey his message, allows the reader to get a feel of the effectiveness of such a powerful tool. The author uses vivid and detailed examples to prove his point. For example, Heinrichs states, “Gottman found that couples who stayed married over those nine years argued about as much as those who ended up in divorce. However, the successful couples went about their arguments in a different way, and with a different purpose” (p. 16). The use of real-life examples helps the reader to visualize how the techniques described work and how they should be implemented. Starting with a love scenario, such as that of married couples, transitions into the next main point: arguing by seducing. These smooth transitions from one concept to the next allow Heinrichs to discuss many topics in the same chapter without being too sharp in the changes. Another very important piece of information that is presented is the way in which people confuse arguing with fighting. In fighting one tries to win over his opponent by all means, even if that means stirring up a sentiment of revenge in the opponent. On the contrary, arguing is a much more clever and effective way to get the other part to agree with a certain point or position. One might have to let the opponent win a few discussions, but in the end, with the adequate use of rhetoric, the winner will win in a convincing way without raising anger in the loosing part.

            It is also crucial to highlight the way in which the author combines certain examples with some of his main ideas. For example, when depicting the three main ways to persuade another individual, he reflects, “…When George Foreman tries to sell you a grill, he makes an argument: persuasion that tries to change your mood, your mind, or your willingness to do something” (p. 17). He even uses daily-life examples to illustrate his point. I found it impressive to observe the way in which the author describes the satisfaction of winning an argument and how one can become the master of persuasion only by correctly using the modes of rhetoric. Also, I find is essential to reflect upon the fact that rhetoric is irrefutable. If the counterpart cannot counter argue your point, then you are slowly beginning to win the argument. The best way to convince someone is by appealing to his emotions, using pathos, which is one of the most vulnerable points in a human being. But, still, one thing is convincing a person, and a completely different one is getting them to act like wanted. For that, you have to induce them into the same desire you have of taking action.