Getting Better While Getting Worse

       Brent has now moved to a completely different stage in his recovery. Even though he is getting better every day, he feels less and less comfortable as he is not treated with the same care and kindness as he was used to at the hospital. It is interesting to observe how Brent has a very hard time in the duPont Institute because he is faced with the reality that he is not the only one being taken care of. He demonstrates his rage when he says: “I was in Children’s for like four months and had my own room, and now I have to fucking share a room with another person” (p. 172). I was impressed by how spoiled Brent had become. First, he was saying that he did not like Children’s Hospital because of the food and Dr. Rubinstein. Now he says he does not like the institute either. It might be the desperation he is experiencing that makes him think like this and have trouble enjoying things. Brent has become more stubborn as time goes by and is only willing to accept the best of the best. Under his conditions, one should be grateful to have people taking care of him as they are doing.

       The tone in the book is for the most part regretful, since Brent repeatedly has stated his desire to go back in time and stop himself from lighting the robe on fire. There are two main ways in which his regret is exposed. One is through sorrow when he reflects upon his decision and thinks that it was certainly not the correct one. The second way is when he is angry with himself, which makes him be angry with the people around him. The first one can be seen in Brent’s reflection: “Someone who could jump into your body just when you were about to make the biggest mistake of your life and keep you from doing it. That would be great. That would be amazing. I wish that was true” (p. 149). Even TV shows remind him of the dreadful decision he made and how it will affect him for the rest of his existence.

       Will Brent continue to develop this attitude of frustration towards life? Will he continue to shut himself up? Although Brent does not talk to other people about the incident, he thinks about it all the time. I know it is very difficult to talk to other people about such personal and uncomfortable subjects, but it seems to be the only way for Brent to get help and to learn a better way of dealing with the problem. Rose is definitely not helping in this sense with her useless comments. Brent will have to learn who is best to talk to and reintegrate with the real world, leaving behind the decision that marked his life.