The Burn Journals is certainly a
thought provoking memoir, which not only examines the idea of suicide, but it
reflects upon decision-making in life and the effects in may have on every
aspect. Runyon is very depictive as he analyzes his situation and starts to
dwell on certain points in the story, but at the same time he leaves others
aside, telling only what he feels is necessary for the reader to know. The
short sentences he uses, such as “I’m following him. He hands me the phone and
runs off. There’s a woman on the phone asking me questions” (p. 17), add
mystery and suspense to the event.
I found it very interesting to see how Brent Runyon
began to assume things after the incident in the locker room occurred. The more
he assumed the farther away he was from what could actually be the case. For
example, when “She stares at me for a few seconds. ‘Okay, you can go.’ I get up
and walk out of the office. She knows that I did it.” (p. 15) The
vice-principal could or could not have known the truth at that time, but Brent
supposed she did, and made a decision he would later painfully regret.
Sometimes I do the same thing. I start to infer what other people might be
thinking about something I did, and then what they might say to me, and then
the way they will act around me. These compound assumptions will deviate you
from the correct path. The best thing to do is don’t infer something unless it
is somehow proven.
Although
Brent thought he had gone over all his choices and was making the correct
decision in attempting suicide, he later recognizes that he would have
preferred to be expelled from school than to be in such a horrible condition in
the hospital. Unfortunately, this is what happens. I also feel that sometimes
you do not see all the available paths before you make a decision, only the
ones that you are obstinate with. It is after the consequences fall over you
that the alternatives come to your mind, even though they are now useless. It is
very important to mention that you only get to distinguish the people who
really care about you in harsh conditions. For instance, Stephen, who was
supposed to be Brent’s best friend, “doesn’t sound as excited as I thought he
would.” (p. 44) Stephen should be the first one to visit Brent and give him all
his support in such a situation. Instead, it was mostly the girls who provided
him with all the encouragement and care he wanted. Brent is now truly finding
out the support from his parents, which he had doubted at some point and is
being revealed who stays by his side in school and who has already moved on and
forgotten him.
